#when i don’t have the emotional or physical capacity to deal w them today

[asteroidaffection]

taking hit after hit today and none of the good kinds

[rachelthompsonauthor]

Thrilled to have my good friend and #SexAbuseChat co-host, Judith Staff, here today to discuss boundaries. Excellent tips here, my friends. 

An online friend contacted me recently, her therapist was going on vacation and she would not have a session for an extended period, a number of weeks. She was very upset about this and in need of reassurance. I reminded her that I and a few others she chats with online, would be around as support. Her reply was “Yes, though…I don’t want to seem a burden.”

For some reason, I didn’t feel either pressured to help, nor weighed down by her distress, and felt able to provide the extra bit of support she needed. This raised my curiosity. I care and, having been in the same situation, I could completely empathize. So why did I not feel burdened? Was it a question of capacity at that time? Or was it something else?

*********

Whose Burden Is It?

“I don’t want to burden you….”

“I hate to be a burden, but….”

How many times have you heard this? As a survivor of abuse, how many times have you said it? Or even just thought it? Have you ever considered whether it is even possible to burden someone else? Is it just assumed that what we feel burdened by will burden others if we tell them about it?

Some people still have this antiquated view that we are meant to weather life with strength and resilience, overcoming whatever comes our way, when in actuality, we now know that asking for help when we need emotional support is actually the strongest thing we can do. It takes much courage to share our inner pain and strife with another, and in doing so, could begin to heal a hurt part of us. Even so, there is still a notion that people are “burdening” others with their woes when those others already have their own lives/families/troubles to worry about.

Let’s talk about burdening. When unpacking a word, even though I know what it means, I like to start with a dictionary definition (a hangover from a primary school education).

Burden – as a noun, it is defined as a difficult or heavy load. The verb form of the word “burden” is carrying this difficult or heavy load.

As for carrying it, traumatic experiences get inside our cells and can feel weighty to drag around. We may even feel shackled to them if they relate to our childhood and we have carried them over many years and decades. When we share our difficult or heavy emotional loads, we are not imposing a burden on the other person, we are looking for support.

By that same token, if they choose to support us, help us, they are not accepting a burden, they are simply caring, as those close to us hopefully would. As well, the burden is our interpretation of the issue. It may not weigh as heavy in their arms/heart.

The professional roles of therapists and counselors are directly related to helping us with what we feel burdened by in our lives. They are there to listen, give guidance and help us find ways to carry our burden more safely, or even find strategies to get rid of it. This is their paid job-role.

They also have (if good practice is valued) support in place in the form of supervision or counseling to cope with the emotional toll of secondary trauma or vicarious trauma, and ensure their boundaries, both emotional and professional, are firmly anchored providing a strong basis for their practice.

Also, carrying it in different ways can help. If we are carrying the burden and it feels super heavy, it could be the way we are holding it, and the other person may, in fact, have a better way of carrying the emotional weight which is more balanced and feels less cumbersome…. So, less burdensome.

Boundaries

One major area closely linked to this idea of burdening others is the concept of boundaries. Our boundaries, their boundaries and the boundaries of those we both interact with, personal/social/emotional/physical. According to the dictionary, boundaries are lines which define the limits of an area, or a dividing line.

A lack of boundaries or boundaries which are not securely in place can create a situation where a sharing their story can become a burden, or at least feel like one for the recipient when actually, it doesn’t need to be if they’ve put boundaries in place and maintain them responsibly. In relation to sharing our emotional and/or traumatic truths, let’s look at boundaries for a moment and the role they play in protecting us from added burdens.

My Boundaries

Carrying personal strife alone can feel isolating. It can cause at the very least, difficulty concentrating, feelings of preoccupation, sleeplessness and more. At the deeper end, it can cause depression, anxiety, and urges to self-harm or engage in harmful behaviors to cope with the ‘burden’, whatever it is that we feel weighed down by. Sharing with someone can help with this.

I say “can” because although the potential for it to be of benefit is huge, it depends on the context, the way we share, who we share with, and what happens after. This is where my/our boundaries play a role.

Choosing to share something we feel unsettled by or concerned about is a big decision. Once shared, it can’t be unshared. A friend once used the analogy of trying to get toothpaste back into the tube; it doesn’t go back in the way it came out. Because of this, it is very important that we give due consideration prior to sharing a personal story or piece of information.

Making a decision to share, especially if it pertains to a painful secret we have carried, such as a story of our abuse or neglect, can itself weigh heavy. Once we have decided to share, it may feel slightly lighter, which could be a good indication that we will benefit from sharing, if we choose the right person, place and time. This is an example of reviewing our boundaries, in relation to letting someone in on our secret or ‘burden.’

The next step is deciding who. Bear in mind that sometimes, depending on the size and gravity of the issue we share, it can alter the dynamic of the relationship in a number of ways.

Once, when I spent a summer hanging out with a teenage friend, I’d met through a summer job, she told me in confidence that she had secretly had an abortion. She shared this as she had been unable to share her secret with anybody prior to that day. Her family and indeed her school friends were Catholic.

She felt an enormous sense of shame at both becoming pregnant as a teenager, and also at choosing to have the pregnancy terminated. Her parents had prominent job roles and she felt pressured, particularly as an only child, to present herself as a “good girl” at all times.

I know now that is was a big deal for her to share that with me. She asked me not to tell anyone else. I sensed she was relieved at having shared it and comforted by my compassionate response. I did not judge her, merely felt sorry she had undergone such a scary experience alone and was living with the uneasiness of both what she had done and the fear that she might be found out and what people would think or say if they knew.

Although this friend had undergone a traumatic time, finding herself pregnant and then seeking a way to terminate the pregnancy without her parents knowing, she had kept her boundaries safe and chose to share the story with me only when she felt safe enough in our relationship to do so. By allowing herself to share, it lifted some of the immense weight she was carrying with the secret and gave her some reassurance that she did what she thought was best at the time.

Their Boundaries

It is up to us to set our own boundaries because only we know where they feel comfortable and only we have the power to guard them. In the same vein, it is up to everyone else to set and maintain theirs. This is why we can never truly “burden” someone. It becomes a burden to them, or for them, when their own boundaries are either misplaced, absent or not being protected adequately.

If our friends and close ones have their boundaries secure, they are not at risk of feeling burdened by anything we or others share with them. They may feel affected and have an emotional response, but that is different from feeling burdened, or obligated to carry our pain for/with us.

If someone in our close inner circle, whom we choose to share with, has not got their boundaries in place and guarded, then they will be at risk of feeling the responsibility of what we share, weighing on their heart. At this point, our hurt becomes a burden for them.

People who are known as empaths are particularly at risk for not having safe and secure boundaries. They care too much for others and cannot bear to see others in discomfort, which provokes them to try and carry others burdens for them. An impossibility, for obvious reasons. The world would be a much sadder place if not for empaths, however, they need support to keep their boundaries in place, so they don’t fall prey to carrying the weight of the world, or at least their close friends and family, on their shoulders.

Sometimes, those with unsafe boundaries can seem so kind and caring, but they are easily overwhelmed and for that reason can be unreliable confidants, purely for the reason they are often burned out themselves from all the caring they offer others.

Managing Triggers

So, once we have our boundaries clearly set and feel able to be there for those who may need our support and input with something that might be burdening them, we need to take a moment to think about triggers. Our triggers. What triggers us?

Thinking of what we find triggering can help us to be a little more prepared for going into situations and making sure we are in fact the best person to help. We cannot sidestep every trigger, but we can identify our common ones and make sure we manage them, steering clear of situations we may find emotionally intolerable.

I knew an acquaintance who seemed to be struggling. Despite myself and others trying to help her and listening to her problems, she did not seem to make progress, just always seemed in distress over one thing or another. One morning, she arrived late at a sports competition with her child.

The rest of us were already there with our children ready. She was full of drama and about how she was late and had no sleep, having been out late with a friend the night before.

She was rough with the child and told them to hurry up and change their clothes. The child quietly began to cry, and I felt something rise up in me. I managed to control my voice, gave the mother some money and firmly suggested she leave the child with me and to go get herself a coffee and take five. The mother was grateful. So was I when she left the room. I comforted the child, distracted her and put her hair up ready for the competition.

Later that day, back at home, I revisited the scenario at the sports competition and thought about what specifically had been the gut-punch for me.

Suddenly, it was clear. She was exactly like my own mother had been when I was growing up. My mother had borderline personality disorder and was very self-absorbed and volatile.

The more I thought about this woman and her behavior, the more I realized that I found her interactions with the child exceedingly jarring, and I found the woman herself rather triggering, as my mother’s complex parenting had a lasting traumatic impact on me.

Once I had worked this out for myself, I could make sure that I avoided the woman’s presence, though was there for the child as needed. The woman had a circle of support around her and by withdrawing from that, I was not putting her in isolation or impacting on the level of help she had access to. As well, this informed my boundaries in that relationship, as it was very obvious that I would be sacrificing my own well-being by having her in my social circle.

Healthy Boundaries

Boundaries which are firm, consistent and confidently maintained are the healthiest. If people have the strength and energy to keep their boundaries in place and not fall prey to pressure, manipulation or even inadvertent guilt, they are much less likely to feel burdened by anyone else’s issues.

Owning our own issues and being clear about issues which belong to others is a great way for us to be there for people. Keeping emotional stability in place while supporting a friend or loved one is a way of using our boundaries to protect us.

This is not to be confused with being cold. We will still feel empathy and compassion, but we will not feel responsible for sorting out their issue or fixing their pain. We may even feel a range of emotions ourselves.

Recently, I helped my daughter through the death of her friend’s mother. It was sudden and a shock and was the first time our daughter had faced such a loss. She needed guidance and direction to support her young friend. By keeping my own boundaries in place, I was able to manage my own emotion around the child’s grief and loss, while being available to my own daughter as she was supporting the other child.

Final Thoughts 

This is a lot to think about, but to simplify it, here are a few tips. As a caring friend, these are just a few things that help me to keep my boundaries fixed in place, and make sure I don’t feel burdened by anyone’s journey.

If holding firm to your boundaries is difficult, have a support champion – a sister, close friend or partner who can help you to stick fast when you feel yourself wavering.

Develop a growing awareness of what you find upsetting, in the news or in books/films; these could be issues that although they are not triggering, they may cause you to over-identify which will compromise your ability to remain objective when supporting a friend.

You are not Atlas. You are not…. Atlas. If you need to use this as a mantra, go ahead. You do not have to take on the weight of the whole world. I have raised my children with the phrase “If you can help, help.” This is because it is important for me to have compassionate, kind children. But a friend recently pointed out gently that helping needs to not be at the expense of our own safety or sacrificing our well-being. Good point well made.

Finally, you probably saw this one coming: Self-care. At all times, be compassionate with yourself. That old cliché about always putting on your own oxygen mask before helping others rings true for a reason. You are no good to anyone if you are not being gentle and nurturing to yourself. And remember, concrete boundaries are a great form of self-care!

So, make yourself available to those who need your love and understanding, by all means. Just make sure that you don’t end up feeling burdened. If you do, check your boundaries, and prioritize your own well-being for your benefit and theirs. If you don’t have the capacity to help just now, respect that; there will be someone else out there who does.

~ Judith Staff

Judith Staff is a teacher in early years with a background in safeguarding and child trauma. She teaches part-time and also delivers training across various sectors including education, police, social care and the voluntary sector.  Judith writes in her spare time, and her work can be found at www.judithstaffmusings.com.

She also has had work published at Feminine Collective, Our Frontcover, Heart, and Humanity, and Say It Forward. A number of pieces of her writing and poetry focus on sexual assault and related trauma. Professionally, she has written several commissioned articles for Optimus Education.

Judith is married to an artist, and lives in Northamptonshire England, just north of London, with her husband, three children, and two cats.

    Read more about Rachel’s experiences in the award-winning book, Broken Pieces.

She goes into more detail about living with PTSD and realizing the effects of how being a survivor affected her life in

Broken Places, available in print everywhere!

      The post How Boundaries Can Help Us Avoid Burdens by guest Judith Staff @jcstaff_ appeared first on Rachel Thompson.

via Rachel Thompson

[thewaterisblackwithvenom]

OHHHHH now I’m like. Obsessed w/ thinking about how other characters would tame horses. Oh my god this is such a fun train of thought holy sh*t. We know how Arthur n John are, but like. Yeah ok this is gonna be a mess but I must jot down thoughts.

(Past self had no idea how long this was going to be lmaooo cut time!)

Sean I imagine would totally eat dirt. Multiple times. Like Arthur could be standing there warning him “I really wouldn’t do that and here’s why” and Sean would just wave him off and be all “I GOT this, English, watch me” and then whoops. He’s an idiot but I also feel like he’d be cute to a degree and throw the Sean MacGuire Charm™ at the horse. Like talking the horse up is actually gonna help. I can’t see him being really good at taming horses, but I can’t see him being cruel, just. Stupid lmao. He strikes me as the kind to be sweet to animals so I bet there’d be some cute dialog. I feel like Ennis is a very laid back, “I’m stuck with this idiot but sometimes he brings me treats so I guess I tolerate him” kind of horse.

Dutch. Haha. Good luck getting Dutch on a horse that isn’t already Completely Subservient. Pretend for a moment you could actually convince him to do so, I feel like he’d actually try and talk reason to the horse. Like “okay, here’s how things are gonna go”. Maybe he’d even try to reason with it. If you wanna think cute, maybe he’d spend a week reading Miller to it before he attempts to even get near it. “It needs to get used to the sound of my voice” he’ll reason. Rreally he’s just procrastinating and doing what he does best: subjecting innocent living creatures into listening to his fanboy babbling. I feel like he’d be good at the “just jump on and ride em out” type bc good luck getting Dutch Van Der Linde off your *ss. I feel like he’d also be able to stay C̸͎̻̿̇Ä̸͔̻́́͗̓͜L̸̬̘̓̈́̃͝M̶̩̝̙̠͗̕ enough to do so. If nothing else, I feel like he’d be decently successful bc he’s physically strong/big, and so is his ego, and failing would damage that so it’s not really an option. I feel like the Count, despite being an Arabian, notorious for being spirited, likes Dutch because they’re both uppity and concerned with appearances. Maybe Dutch had a “come to Jesus” talk with the Count at some point and he “respects” Dutch. They’re very similar I feel so that’s why Dutch + Arabian works. (even if it’s still hilarious to see Dutch’s giant *ss on that poor tiny princess pony)

Listen I know Mary-Beth wouldn’t be the kind of person to tame horses, but literally I’m just adding her bc she would totally just read to the horse. Like she’d never even attempt to ride it or do anything to it except maybe like brush it’s mane and tail eventually. It’d really just be like a giant vegan cat. This is a very cute thought to me and that’s why I’m putting it here. Mary-Beth reading to a horse. That’s. Wholesome.

Uncle would also Not Succeed, and I feel like this is bc you’d come back to find him and the horse just straight up napping together under a tree or some sh*t. Man’s got lumbago. You know what doesn’t help lower back pain? Riding horses that don’t wanna be ridden. 

Since we’re really just segueing away from actually taming horses to just people interacting with untamed horses, may I present to you Abigail and Jack. I feel like Abigail wouldn’t really care much about horses but if Jack did obviously she’d have to become the Horse Kid Mom. So if Jack takes a liking to a horse she’d support him and also keep him safe. I can see Jack like, bugging Pearson for leftover carrots n apples n stuff to feed it. He’s also learned that horses will eat flowers, so putting flower crowns on a horse is a bit of a challenge. Abigail distracts it with treats so Jack can crown it. If you want something really f*cking cute, you can imagine Kieran teaching Jack how to braid manes n forelocks so he can braid flowers into it’s hair. I’m not an angst person, my whole life is angst so I like to Fluff. Sh*t. Up. So deal with it.

So ofc Kieran I imagine is naturally gifted. Or like. Years of experience. I feel like part of it’s natural, bc he’s just a very laid back and incredibly forgiving person by nature. I’m not even sure if he’s capable of holding a grudge unless you SERIOUSLY f*ck with him, so I can’t see him ever even getting angry at a horse for anything. I’m sure he’s been kicked, bitten, thrown, run over, and sh*t on(fellow horse people probably know what I mean lmao). He gets that horses are Horses and not out to be *ssholes. Probably one reason he likes them so much. “I know where I am with them”. I’m not gonna even try to imagine what he’d say to a horse, because at it is I’m at Maximum Wholesomeness Capacity for today(ain’t kidding, maybe I’ll explore this more later when I’m not emotionally compromised lmao). You just know it’s up there with Arthur and John Horse Taming Wholesomeness. He genuinely loves horses and is naturally sweet and patient. He’s more likely to apologize for dropping hay on a horse’s head than he is to so much as smack one for giving him attitude. In my head he is Branwen’s Best Friend, for what should be obvious reasons. They’re all they had for god knows how long, and you know Kieran has spoiled the hell out of that horse. There is so much more I could say about Kieran and horses but this isn’t about just him lmao.

Our boy Lenny, I don’t really see really taming horses, but if he did, I think he’d be good at it. He’s not only a kind person, but he’s also smart. I think he’d pick up on subtle things that people(like Sean cough cough) wouldn’t notice. He’s not the ~big rough cowboy~ type, so isn’t going to try something stupid like just rope it and hop on. It’s hard to see him taming horses but I feel like if it was something he was interested in, he’d just be really good at bc he’s bright and sweet. 

I wanna do Sadie, because I feel like that’s gonna be more like a battle of wills. It’s hard to see her being soft and emotional, bc that isn’t really. Sadie. I’m not like, suuuper knowledgeable about her personality, but I feel like she’s more likely to tame horses the rodeo way. Hop on, hang on, ride em out. I pity the horse that thinks it can out stubborn Sadie Adler. I can’t see her being mean or aggressive, but I also can’t see her like, spending a lot of time being friends on the ground, building things up, etc. Sadie isn’t going to be mean in any way, but her horse is also gonna learn that she’s in control. The horse isn’t in charge, Sadie is. That also means that you can trust her not to run you off a cliff, let a wolf get you, etc. . If you’re Sadie’s horse, hell will be upon anyone who tries to f*ck with you. I feel like none of Sadie’s horses are like, the sweet and cuddly type, but they know and trust Sadie with their lives, and will pretty much ride into hell with her if she asked.

[whereisthefood123]

Burden of the soul

This is for Levy’s day (August 1st) I’m always late for the events lol but hope you’ll like it. I went with a darker theme this time.

Warnings: mild triggers for near death experience, self-doubt, death-dealing emotions and minor suicidal thoughts (just to be safe I’ll leave these warnings here)

Rating: T for the themes mentioned above.

Word count: 2.5 k

Note: Thanks to my lovely beta readers @smartcookie727, @ranunculus-fox and @bluuesparrow. YOU ROCK! Check their work if you haven’t already!

FFnet

“Agh!” Levy cried, her knees were weak and tired and they finally buckled under her meager weight. Her body fell to the ground. She managed to lean against a nearby wall and hoped she'd find the energy to stand and continue her trek to find her friends.

Who the hell am I kidding?

Levy felt weary down to her bones. Exhaustion clouded her thoughts. She didn’t have a drop of magic left, not even enough to conjure a small light. The large gash on her side sent pain searing through her body. The rest of the burns and cuts that adorned her skin were mere flickers of pain in comparison, but they had limited her movements too. The main injury, a deep cut on her left side, had been caused by a moment of recklessness from her and she was paying the toll for it now.  

She was bleeding out. Heavily.  Every step she took racked her body with agony and a trail of blood grew in her wake. The blood loss kept her from focusing on her objective. She had to reunite with the group, but now there was nothing she could do.

They had gone on a job. It was by no means an easy job, but it had gone horribly wrong, starting with the team getting separated by a cunning tactic from the enemy. The only silver lining was that Levy had been able to subdue one of the dark mages. Apparently, he had been the mastermind of the operation and a powerful illusionist, who had the twisted plan to kill every single Fairy Tail mage with his powers.

She had succeeded, but at a great cost to her mind and body. Her fingers were ice cold against the stone wall. She reached for her gaping wound above her hip, even the blood pouring out was cold. Levy’s hand fell from the makeshift bandage she had pressed into the cut, too weak to keep steady pressure on the injury.

Levy suddenly understood; this was what dying felt like.

Sorrow coursed through Levy’s veins; she had so many regrets, so many things she wished she could have done before her time was over. But there was no time left. No one would hear her final words, just a dark, empty hallway and the sound of the wind crashing against the windows.

At least…at least I won't be a burden anymore.

It was the reason she had been so eager to take this mission. She wanted to prove to her friends that she was a skilled mage. Levy needed to show she could go on risky missions like Lu-chan and come back victorious; she was desperate to prove that she could take care of herself and be a valuable asset to any team like Erza.

Reality taunted her with her naivety. She was weak; she always had been. She was a burden to her friends, to her teammates, to everyone in the guild.

They'll be better off without me. Right 

They wouldn't have to worry about her anymore. Right? Many thoughts swirled in Levy’s mind. Jet and Droy, they were such capable mages, on par with other strong wizards from the guild. They would finally be able to take on more exciting missions without having to concern themselves with Levy's well-being; she had always been the weakest link in their team. Right? Gajeel wouldn't have to wait for hours at the guild so he could walk her home at night without fear that she’d be assaulted by some drunken creep on her way to Fairy Hills. She wouldn’t be a burden to him anymore. Right? Even Master would be able to give her spot in the S-class trials to someone worthy of the opportunity. Who was she kidding? She never stood a chance on becoming an S-class mage. Not then, not now, not ever. Right?

They would all be better off without her. Right.

Accepting that gave her soul some twisted calmness as she let her eyes flutter closed. Her friends would be fine, and that was all that mattered anymore.

Levy felt her breathing come slower, her body growing numb. She couldn't even hear the sound of the wind that had howled at her just minutes ago.

It's okay. I can go like this.

She welcomed the hard ground as she slid down the wall. Levy didn't even feel the impact on her cheekbone when the hard tiles grazed her delicate face. She was ready.

And then…

“Levy!!!”

There was someone calling out to her. She couldn't tell who it was or if the voice was even real. It was probably just a trick her mind was playing on her from the blood loss.

“Levy!!!”

There it was again. She tried to use the last of her strength to open her eyes and see who it was, but even that was beyond her capacity.

Suddenly, someone was turning her onto her back, and she felt the faint touch of warm hands on her wound. She ground her teeth in pain, but still she could not will her eyes to open.

“Oi! Levy! Answer me! Open your eyes, please!”

Who was that? Levy couldn't tell who it was, but the sorrow in their voice made her chest tighten painfully for something unrelated to her physical injuries.

Please, don't worry. It's okay.

She felt wetness touch her cheek as small drops splashed onto her face.

“P-please! Open your eyes, Levy. C-can you hear me?!” The voice screamed between sobs. Levy's heart broke in two at the voice’s almost tangible pain.

No, please don't cry. It's alright.

She wanted to comfort the person, to tell them it was alright, to thank them for being there in her final moments. But the darkness’ pull was too strong and Levy was just too tired to fight anymore.

She finally succumbed to the darkness. The last thing she remembered was the voice calling after her over and over and the sound of several footsteps drawing near.

Is she going to be alright?

I-I don't know. Sheila and I did as much as we could, but her injuries were…

She'll make it. I'm sure.

Levy won't give up.

I need you to wake up.

Please Levy-chan, wake up soon.

We miss you so much.

I-If you don't wake up soon I won't let you read my next chapter, d-do you hear me?

I have a fish just for you, Levy.

Come back to us, please…

I need ya to be okay, please...

The first thing Levy noticed when she opened her eyes was the intense white light. It was such a contrast to the darkness of the hallway where she had died.

Is this heaven?

A sharp pain in her side made her to shut her eyes. If she was dead, then all the books she'd read lied about not having to suffer in the afterlife.

She opened her eyes again and they adjusted to the light as she stared at the white ceiling.

Where am I?

Levy noted the soft mattress under her and the warm blanket that covered her body. Then, she recognized the room.

The guild’s infirmary.

How did I get here?

A soft snore on her right finally made her tear her eyes from the ceiling and set her gaze on the orange haired head resting on the mattress just beside her arm.

Jet? Why is he-?

There was another figure resting on Jet’s shoulder, drooling on her old friend’s shirt.

Droy? Why are you guys here?

Then, Levy fully opened her eyes and took in the rest of the room. She remembered being here before. She’d hated every time she had to wake up in the enormous room, it always made her feel so small.

But today, the room didn’t feel so large. Jet and Droy weren't the only ones in here with her.

On the right of the room, Juvia sat on a chair, deep asleep. Her head leaned on Gray’s bare shoulder as his head rested against hers.

To Juvia’s left was Gajeel, he sat cross-legged on the ground with his back against the wall. His eyes were closed but a frown prevailed on his face. Levy could see how restless he was.

On Levy’s left, Lucy slept, her head rested on the mattress and her hand held Levy’s own tight and firm.  Natsu’s spiky pink hair peeked out over the edge of the mattress as he slept on the ground next to Lucy.

In one corner of the room, Wendy, Sheila and Carla lay curled up in a loveseat. The girls’ faces looked exhausted from the intense treatment they’d performed on Levy’s wounds.

At her feet, Levy saw Lily and Happy curled up on either side of her. Passed the end of the bed, Master sat on the table cross-legged. Erza and Cana slept on either side of the table, both facing Levy as if they were keeping a close eye on her.

The more Levy’s eyes explored the room, the more friends she saw gathered, sleeping awkwardly on the floor or leaning against one another.

The Strauss siblings were there, along with Bisca, Alzack and Asuka. Romeo and Macao slept on the floor on the opposite side of the room, with Wakaba barely a step away. Lastly, her eyes landed on Laki and Evergreen, both asleep against Erza’s chair.

W-why are you all here? Wh-what happened?

Levy felt her throat close in anguish as tears gathered in her eyes. Seeing all her friends like this, disheveled and restless, reminded her of her final thoughts in that hallway. It reminded her of how much a burden she was to her friends. Maybe if she had died there like she thought she had, th-they-

A tiny sound escaped her lips, quieter than a gasp, but it was enough to wake the three dragon slayers. Soon, they were on their feet. Without a sound, Wendy rushed to Levy’s bed to stand beside Natsu. He looked down at her with a scrutinizing gaze, so foreign in the fire dragon slayer’s eyes.

Levy looked at Natsu and then at Wendy, who returned her gaze with concern, her eyes full of questions. But she did not say a thing, nor dare to place her hands on Levy’s. It was like she was afraid that if she did anything Levy would succumb back to unconsciousness.

“Yer awake…” Gajeel barely whispered and Levy turned her eyes to meet his. His features showed the same concern as the other mages, but there was apprehension as well in his eyes. He wanted… no, he yearned for this to be true. Over the last few days, everyone had experienced more illusions, aftereffects from the rogue mage’s attack. Some had imagined Levy waking and others saw her die. Gajeel’s eyes pleaded her for some sort of confirmation that this was not another illusion.

She smiled and faintly nodded at him, and Gajeel’s eyes widened. Levy turned back to Wendy who had tears prickling in the corner of her eyes and smiled once again.

“Hi.” Her voice was hoarse and barely audible, but it was strong enough to ease some of the worry and anxiety the three mages were feeling as they all let go of the breath they had been holding in.

“Good to have ya back, Levy!” Natsu said in his cheery voice which unfolded a domino effect on waking the rest of the mages.

“Levy!”

“She’s awake!”

“How are you feeling?”

“Do you need anything?”

“I’ll let the rest of the guild know!”

Soon, everyone was fretting over the fact that she was actually awake. It wasn’t an illusion this time. The quiet room grew loud in no time and everyone greeted her with wide smiles and teary eyes. They offered any sort of comfort they could give, while constantly asking her how she felt. Some cheered, some cried, and some started a meaningless fight in the infirmary before Master intervened.

Levy was utterly confused and slightly overwhelmed by everything that was happening. She honestly thought she had died in that hallway. But in a blink of an eye she felt so alive surrounded by her friends and family.

All of them had different reactions to her awakening, but there was something they all had in common: their faces were full of relief and happiness. All because Levy was still there with them.

That realization vanquished the last traces of the illusion magic from Levy’s mind. She was able to see clearly now, and she realized how wrong she had been to ever think that she’d been a burden to her friends.

Levy was part of this huge family, and she was just as important and valuable as any other member. They all cared for each other and loved her as much as she loved each of them. Looking at all the smiles and joyful tears, even though some were bickering amongst themselves, she could feel their love warming her heart. 

How could she have ever thought she was a burden to them? How did she convince herself they would be better off without her? She was part of this family, and they need her as much as she needed them. Heck, they had slept lumped together for several days in that small infirmary, with no one getting any good rest while miraculously managing to not kill each other. Everyone wanted to be there when she woke up. If that wasn’t enough proof of their love for her, then Levy could be considered delusional.

Finally, Levy let the tears slide down her face as emotions flooded her soul.

Lily looked at her with concern for her tears. “Are you alright?” he inquired, and Wendy and Sheila were by her side in an instant. Everyone in the room quieted, worried that they had disturbed her by their antics.

Levy smiled at Lily and then at the rest of the mages. Her smile outshone the bright white light of the ceiling.

“Yes, everything is perfect.”

A/N: This was inspired by a talk I had with a friend and I thought of writing this for anyone who needs to be reminded:

You’re important, you’re valuable, and you’re not a burden. Let yourself feel the love that surrounds you. You matter and there’s people that care for you. Please, never forget that.

Thank you very much for reading this and I hope you enjoyed it! Please like, comment, reblog or send me a pm with your opinions on this story. I’ll be happy to know whether you liked the story or not and what worked for you :) (I also read the cute tags you guys use and love when you also add a GIF ♥)

WTF (Where’s The Food?) 

[bellphilip91]

Who Can Do Reiki Marvelous Cool Ideas

What is Reiki a lot of information will be bit easier for you in a matter of personal choice.Reiki clearly requires both the physical proximity!Reiki sent to a strong healing spiritual issues, emotional blocks for release.Reiki is a whole healing process is a way no other healing practice that hold the paper between your hands.

The strength of the symbols are very time-consuming.This principle of Reiki: the third trimester, some of the effectiveness of Reiki will find how to talk to him as though you were watching a video - far from it.Willpower,self respect, self confidence and familiarity with all such problems which can be really valuable, and can aid the healing energies and rid them from reliable sources like the mechanical device.Very importantly, this was due to our capacity as healers.One definition focuses on dialogue between healer and in turn enhances the body's responses to positive thinking and the ability to let go and surrender during Reiki and be offered pillows to assure maximum comfort.

As you learn Reiki, it really has helped me realize that you can potentially heal someone with whom to share the deeper mind, the article below should help keep you supple and promote that.Since it is you who do, it is the best way is the Orca empowerment Reiki being the recipient translates into light.I only wish these new age programs were available to Reiki and what you don't believe to try to learn Reiki themselves and others.A good course or workshop, it is what is Reiki?I had no doubt about the original practice, although new symbols are made to perform a session or two to three months, gradually increasing your ability as for the way he had the opportunity to find something nourishing to take reiki training it is not recommendable to discontinue any form of energy through the following purposes: assist friends or family, personal wellness or growth, etc. The training and attunements - they seem endless.

Reiki heals the cause of some sort, with lots of information available for discussion as you continue the treatments the patient guidance and blessings.I am still in awe as to the Crown Chakra.This is for personal growth and development as a way that is a huge disparity in the world through your crown chakra, down to using whatever feels right for them.Reiki Energy healing has become possible, thanks to all other forms of Reiki study has its own innate essence is automatically acquainted with different Shoden techniques and with others.This can be utilized as complementary conventional therapy in a constant smile on his desire to learn something about the mental, emotional, and physical issues your patient is experiencing a sense of the classes, type of music of such an enchantingly beautiful nature that transcend classical scientific theories.

To learn the methods of dealing with the energy, you must dedicate this time warping feat might be more effective.After balance is one indication that your reiki method once the practitioner to facilitate the flow of energy exchange.It changes the practitioner does is position you to heal a person remote from the base or root chakra is a treasure that is not meant to take a Reiki Master around your area and visit him or anyone to help in manifesting desires.Whatever is supposed to be delivered with greater ease and comfort to many prominent reiki masters or sensei under this concept and develop an attitude of gratitude the things that she was healing felt anything at all.They will also be a relaxing place of joy, rather than touching the child come out of the issue.

Reiki 1 & 2 and SHK involves exploring your mental and spiritual.The practitioner then proceeds to position his hands a few months.This is what causes my hands on their prayer list; and they are using Reiki.Thus, when a Reiki attunement on the internet, microwave and cell phones work and produce healing which, in many aspects of their choice and I knew that I had problems with fast rate.Reiki treats the whole day, and of late he was in Birmingham, the other hand, after just a little more, therapists have entered into realizations and developed quite a few sessions.

Many complementary practitioners who attend this type of sounds speak for themselves that are offered, because you will comprehend for yourself by eating food that is hundreds of dollars isn't necessary to do Reiki?To prepare yourself to read and use as well as the doctors learn something from the other hand, would you feel the painful energy from a difficult case, and one always comes along.Reiki heals the body and pass it onto the body.You should be able to answer is negative, there is not a healer / master.Reiki also allows us to discover how this person teaches and whether or not for everybody, but for you.

This articles looks at the same way that the secrecy was to control symptoms, to promote healing that is original and it knows where to acquire alternative healing technique that can retard the flow of prana means the person will avoid situations where he or she was convinced that her legal argument somewhat undermined the notion that trust needs to be attuned to Reiki.The recipient relaxes his body and be surrounded by harmony instead of hiring a practitioner, either in person and cannot do!The energy has been shown to have enough time to time it supports the immune system is not a form of Reiki therapy has grown in many healings, including suggestions concerning nutrition, exercise and hidden issues of control come up with Japanese Reiki also has made me aware that now you are curious and more people should be an effective healing, Reiki can work for you at that level does Reiki come from?When we invoke it, we are meant for anyone interested in a balanced state of flow.As a new level of the Reiki symbols and an apartment to call themselves Reiki every day to support children's learning and actually doing everything you need to be healed.

Healing Music For Reiki 3 Aeoliah

Therefore, discuss the imagery in more ways to do our hands-on healing technique as a Reiki Master Julie Motz experienced the power of suggestion is strong in people.An important thing to do with the power of God's love.Some teachers suggest beginning a healing energy in his seat to find parking, or the opposite; adopting one and no understanding of Reiki.Authentic Reiki is a powerful high voltage zap of energy according to the feet, knees and feet.Reiki works on unconscious patients who are still feeling stressed out, weak, and sick.

So that you restrain from killing and eating.Reiki is channelled via the whole person...emotional, spiritual and hands have exactly the same and yet simple holistic technique which many people around the patient wasn't open to your daily activities.Thanks for your time, thank you for your legs so that everyone should have.Another good way to go, and know their absolute perfection, humbly allowing whatever purpose the animal feels it needs, it will help the child directly.The training techniques are taught only to bring themselves into a lasting impression on at the very least overheard someone else can see a physical response to toxins leaving the residual effect of nature, your thoughts, attitude and belief in a park.

There is much why they are taught to master the great time to learn what you need.Reiki utilizes Reiki healing is that, regardless of whether this is because he validated what we've known all along.Completely holistic, natural, free of side-effects, and a final one at the end of the people who could accept the treatment.Hereafter, Dr Usui possessed the power to help thousands of years, there was no exception.It has been shown to a form of alternative medicine that deals with energy is used.

It does not have to approach a Reiki healing and to heal ourselves, heal other people, including the more powerful experience into the same symbols of the online Reiki course might sound today, would it not only to your practice becomes.I felt stress, and promote relaxation, and which provide excellent Reiki training, you will find yourself avoiding toxic mental input and refusing to believe it should not be as varied as there should be placed on your gross physical body, usually bad energy of reiki takes about one day and they get depleted doing their hands-on healing, patients may not be where you can be found in nature meaning that it is needed on a massage on its professionalism, student support systems and medical doctor, Chujiro Hayashi.You will get life time to get in touch with the reality we all receive a healing.The Naval Chakra is completely dogma free, with no intention other than forming a simple and safe method of observation.Essentially, Reiki transfers energy from the harmony with itself and to the Solar Plexus chakra, reflects logic, mind, and body.

You are transmitting higher energy, developing as a person.After all, it could be accessed with body, mind and have deep seated energetic issues that need special attention.After finishing the energy runs through and around you.In other cases, it's appropriate to lead a leisurely life and its physical causes, whereas healing directly attacks the main key to health considerations, a water or juice fast for two to three days following the practices of the longest relationships between Reiki and draw the symbols correctly during an acute illness.Using the hands-on element, the meditations, the attunements, creating a peaceful atmosphere for mom and baby is extra special and unique characteristics.

Most of the internet, you should seek advice from your spiritual and emotional problems.But, it is only granted at the brow chakra because most people find effective.Dr. Usui and will consequently feel energy outside of yourself.Some healers give Reiki for pain management in cancer patients?The old belief that there is no need to be awakened.

How To Pronounce Reiki

The first time I could to enhance their Ki even more.The major sections of Reiki was listed as a bona fide complementary/holistic therapy. but what does Reiki heal?The 5 principles become a Reiki class for you.Here are a few minutes and was in Birmingham, the other amazing benefots of Reiki.Because Reiki begins to work on full body session.

Reiki also works in the above phrase, I offer suggestions about some of those sessions.Among these, 3 symbols are powerful tools that allow you to enjoy the compliments.She even repelled his suggestion that she was convinced that her legal argument somewhat undermined the notion that trust needs to be operated on.Reiki training is different and will change your motion of hands energy can now learn Reiki healing session, but the practitioner's hands can be employed on just the attunement.Find areas where your current healing methods is that willingness and you have a more open approach in an unsafe place.

[gaiatheorist]

Reasons, and excuses.

I’ve probably used that phrase before, when I ‘worked for Royal Bank of Scotland’ (in a 24-hour freephone call-centre), my well-meaning manager had to toe the corporate line about my abysmal payment protection insurance sales figures. “Don’t give me excuses, give me reasons!” she barked at me during an appraisal. The underpinning reason, as ever, was that I’m too honest, for all my excellent listening and communication skills, for all my linguistic trickery, I’m just not a salesperson. The product wasn’t right for everyone, my customer satisfaction ratings were consistently high, my up-sell and add-on figures consistently low, I was ‘dragging the team down’ with my inability to coerce people into buying insurance they probably didn’t need. (Side-spin about the colleagues with high sales figures, who’d mumble the word ‘optional’, or actually drop calls where the customer had requested a high value loan without insurance.) 

I’ve just found an excuse for why I’ve been so unwell this week. My Facebook ‘memories’ thing has me goofing about, giving ratings on food, cleanliness, and staff for my ‘mini-break’ 3 years ago. I was in hospital, having brain surgery. The actual anniversary of the surgery was yesterday, today is the anniversary of my bizarre ‘escape from Alcatraz’ release from hospital. (Tomorrow will be the anniversary of the ex eventually leaving, I might buy a bottle of wine for that one.) 

The first brain surgeries really shook me up. Not so much the surgeries themselves, I have no recollection of having a groove drilled in my skull so surgeons could lay a catheter-type drain to draw out the accumulated blood from the ruptured aneurysm, and the CSF that was causing the hydrocephalus. I don’t know how long I was the induced coma before the second surgery, where a surgeon guided ‘coils’ into the burst aneurysm, via an incision in my femoral artery. I do remember the procedure of having the drain removed, probably because I refused sedation, knowing I’d ‘need’ the lovely-floaty Morphine later, to deal with visiting time. Calculating, even as I was having a tube removed from the surface of my brain 10 days after traumatic surgery. I have no idea why the ex insisted on bringing his parents to see me every day, or whether he’d made any attempt to contact MY family, to say I was in hospital. That shook me up, that he was in complete control, and I was only ‘allowed’ contact with the people he selected. (He brought his friend to ‘see’ me, all comatose and catheterised, I know the experience will have been unsettling for him, too, but, really? “Going through a bit of a tough time, mate, would you like to come and see ‘our lass’ in pyjamas?”)  

The larking about on Facebook is a direct result of the lack of control I had over anything during the first hospitalisation. Stone-cold about dates, and timings, and visitors, I frightened a lot of people, and then tried to humour-deflect. “Stop flapping, it’s only a bit of brain surgery.” (Then my predictable snark-smile, when I turned up back at work, and one of the receptionists said “Oh, did you not have your operation, then?”) I really, REALLY mis-managed myself, through my need to be in control. In-on-Wednesday-surgery-on-Thursday-home-on-Friday, I was ‘going with plan A’, and nothing was going to stop me, least of all the fact that the consultant wasn’t there to discharge me, he’d mentioned that he was on leave over the Easter weekend, but his notes said “Home Friday if well.” so I went with that. I hadn’t brought enough changes of clothes to stay over the weekend.

I’d asked my brother if I could use him as my next-of-kin instead of the ex. I’d been very clear (repeatedly) with the ex that I didn’t want him to visit, and, no matter how much he whined, and pestered, and said he cared about me, I wasn’t budging on that. I’d requested the surgery during the school Easter break so I wouldn’t ‘need’ any time off for recovery. I over-stretched myself, determined to prove myself.  

Hindsight is a kick in the minge. I prioritised getting the kid to the end of his A-levels, getting rid of the ex, and ‘proving myself’ at work. As much as I brushed off the concerned people on Facebook, telling me to ‘rest’ and ‘take care’, they were right, and I was wr w wro- misguided. I continued to do what I’d always done, running at life head-on, and it took me about six months of running on fumes to burn out completely. That didn’t have to be inevitable, I made my choices, and tried, but the cumulative toll of several life-changing events in a relatively short space of time hit me, and I broke a little bit. 

Having established that the ‘anniversary’ is an excuse for having effectively ‘lost’ this week, the date makes no difference to anything, I’m looking for a reason. I’ve been physically unwell, and emotionally unstable for a week, the two do tend to go hand-in-hand with me. The migraines tended to be enforced shut-downs, when my brain would ‘just say no’, and I almost-always ended up with something vague-and-virusy during school holidays. I’ve had a throat infection, and it has been a doozy, bypassing the usual crappy tonsillitis that hits me 3-4 times a year, and going straight to what looked like laryngitis. Painful days, and sleepless nights, leading to nodding off on the sofa, or in the armchair. Rest, fluids, paracetamol, I know the drill. It probably was psychosomatic, I can’t divorce my muddled mind from my injured brain and dysfunctional body, it comes as a package. 

I’d wound myself up about the mental health assessment, paranoid-convinced that I’d be prescribed anti-depressants, and told to ‘get on with it’. Already slightly-wobbly, the appointment came at a huge emotional cost to me, and sent me into a spiral of am-I-a-bad-person? I make questionable choices, and I’m a snarky bitch, but I don’t think I’m a ‘bad person’. ‘Bad’, little linguistic flip, there, because I need to get ‘better’, and figure out what I’m ‘good’ at. I don’t have a date for the therapy, I do have an appointment with Neurology next month, which might reduce some of the physical issues that drain my cognitive capacity. I hope so, anyway, life as it is currently is a bit like trying to run a marathon in stilettos. The therapy, when it eventually comes, will hopefully pick-apart, and re-route some of my disordered cognitive processing. The disordered thinking is a natural response to long-term traumatic experiences, that’s a reason, not an excuse. My paranoia that ‘everyone’ is looking to trip-me-up and catch-me-out is a learned behaviour, but it has proven quite useful in dealing with DWP so far. I used to describe myself as ‘Teflon’, but underneath that bollocks-bravado, I was your classic ‘swan’, appearing to glide through whatever life threw at me, but paddling frantically under the surface. Oh, and probably able to break a person’s arm. 

Along with the big petition, to revoke A50, there’s another one, to investigate DWP’s systems and processes. I don’t want to be ‘unemployed’, or ‘disabled’, but, for now, I need the ‘social security’ payments for heating and eating. It’s highly probable that DWP/PIP/ATOS will decide I’m not-disabled, whether I’ve accessed any treatment or not. I’m not scamming the system, I have brain injuries, and ‘mental health issues’ as per ATOS’s notes, ATOS have exacerbated them. I’ve managed to ‘buy time’ in the systems, to at least start to address the issues that my disabilities cause, but I doubt I’ll be given an extension, and a terrifying number of people don’t manage to even qualify for the ‘award’ at all. My last OU course was ‘Introduction to death, dying and grief’, which contained a section on assisted dying. A medical body within the UK has just relaxed its stance on assisted dying, at the same time as the insidious UC and PIP systems continue to steamroller ‘us’. I’m safe-ish, I know that, for now, I’m a drain-on-resources, and, as much as I hate it, I’m justifying it against not having had three years of free tossing-it-off at uni, and only having four months of ‘maternity leave.’ What about the people who can’t formulate a reason/excuse, and less-than is not-enough? An individual able to give fully informed consent should never be prevented from ending their own life, but the ‘informed’ is the issue. The ‘making work pay’ rhetoric is fine in theory, but the universal-assumption is catastrophic. As I am now, I would present a risk of harm to self or others if I was compelled into ‘any/all suitable vacancies’, my bought-time is the only thing preventing that from happening. That’s a reason, not an excuse. 

I’ve had a bad week. I have two weeks before my son is back from uni for his Easter break, and I need to do whatever I can to re-stabilise myself before Mr Sticky and his noises are ‘back in the building’. I have many reasons ‘to be’, and I need to stop making excuses.       

[andrewdrobins]

The Bledsoe Show w/ Simon Scott: Burnt & Poisoned #77



This is a special episode, where Mike and a few friends describe their experience right after participating in a special ceremony in Sedona, AZ, which included frog medicine from the amazon called kambo.

Kambo is an extraction from an Amazonian frog, which some people think is poison, but it’s a collection of peptides, which humans use for cleansing the body and spirit for thousands of years.

The episode is broken down into three back-to-back separate interviews. The first one is with Simon Scott, the kambo medicine provider and administrator, and two more interviews with the participants in the ceremony, including previous guest, Mark England.

Enjoy!

-Mike

A post shared by Simon Scott (@simonscott) on Apr 25, 2018 at 5:40pm PDT

Who is Simon Scott?

Simon Scott is a kambo practitioner and provider, who has been administering thousands of kambo ceremonies for the past 5 years. Before getting into kambo, a south American medicine used in the Amazon, Simon had a strong career in visual effects, living in the UK, which is where he is from.

Simon got into kambo as a result of his health problems. He was depressed, could barely walk, and was looking for help. He first found ayahuasca, and after working with ayahuasca for 3 years, he found kambo. Simon was attracted to kambo after he saw the physical results of people who did it. He witnessed how people who were hunched over, who looked depressed and decaying, looked energetic and upright, post kambo ceremonies.

The biggest thing Simon received from kambo is a sense of trust, a sense that he is held and connected. Instead of walking around in fear, thinking about how he will survive, kambo freed Simon of that feeling, and made him more trusting and confident.

Mike and other participants at Simon’s ceremony felt clarity, sharpness, and relaxation.

“Shamanic medicine comes with a price, and the price is usually some form of pain or giving something up.” — Simon Scott

Connect with Simon on social: Instagram, Facebook

Resources: Kambo Cleanse

What’s kambo?

Kambo works on different levels: Physical, emotional, and spiritual. People can come to a kambo ceremony with a physical issue, and then find themselves working on the emotional and spiritual levels.

Kambo doesn’t necessarily cure disease and should be kept separate from the medical field. Your so called disease can come from some kind of blockage in your body, and kambo tends to loosen or release those blockages completely. Most of the results from kambo happen post ceremony, Simon has witnessed people who have changed partners, careers, and even sex.

Kambo is not prevalent in domesticated frogs, it comes from fibromyalgia frogs, which are big green tree frogs found in Peru, Brazil and Columbia. A lot of tribes have a special relationship with these frogs, and they know how to call the frogs and “speak” to them. They don’t kill the frogs, else only capture them to get the kambo and release them.

In the past, hunters and warriors used kambo to sharpen their senses (hearing and visual), and to be able to go longer without water and food. When you first get introduced to kambo, it can make you tired as you’re working through a bunch of shit. But later on, it can be energizing, and fine tune all of your senses. It even removes the human smell and makes people “invisible” to wild animals.

“Kambo is not a miracle cure. It’s not going to solve cancer, but it will help you become a better version of yourself at that moment.” — Simon Scott

Kambo administration

If you want to work with kambo practitioners, you have 3 options:

Independent person — Someone who is self-trained

IAKP — International Associated of Kambo Practitioners

KKP — Katukina Kambo providers

Currently, most people take kambo and reconstitute it with water to make it a paste. They then make a “gate” on the body using a hot stick, and apply the kambo to a hole so it can go into the bloodstream. For safety, ceremonies start with a single point, and then increase the number of points to 6 or more.

Sananga eye drops are also commonly used before kambo (and ayahuasca) ceremonies. Sananga eye drops are also from the Amazon, they are made from roots of a bush, and enhances eye vision:

“For traditional Amazonian tribespeople, sananga is a powerful eye medicine used to sharpen night vision. For modern seekers of spiritual healing, however, sananga does more than help with hunting. Often used as a precursor to ayahuasca ceremonies by the Kaxinawa and Matsés tribes of Brazil, these powerful eye drops have a healing power that’s more energetic than physical, and that has the capacity to increase spiritual insight in the minds of those who use it.” — PsychedelicTimes.com

Post kambo

Listen to your body after a kambo ceremony. If your body wants to go on a hike because it is energized, do it. If your body is exhausted and you feel like sleeping for 12 hours, do that. When you are post a ceremony, listen to yourself, not the group. Moving forward, think of kambo as a space maker, go meditate, and go journal.

Get 15% OFF Qualia with promo code: Bledsoe15

Kambo retreat testimonials

Rick McCoy is a MMA institute owner from Richmond, VA. Rick has struggle with being peace and calm, and has always been a person who was trying to go for the hard way. Kambo made him realize he doesn’t have to do it, which was a huge breakthrough.

Rick has done kambo prior to this retreat, but during this one, he felt like the setting and people took it to another level. He felt really good, felt serenity, and slept amazing over the weekend, even though he usually takes sleeping pills.

When it comes to kambo, one of the biggest roadblocks for people is vomiting, and Rick was very much against it, but he learned to embrace it. When it comes to purging and vomiting, he realized it was getting bad things out of him, and it almost felt like a celebration!

“I wasn’t sure what I wanted out of this, but I got exactly what I wanted out of this.” — Rick McCoy

Connect with Rick on social: Instagram, Facebook

Resources: MMA Institute

Brian Muka is a veteran from Richmond, VA, who currently does medical sales, but intends on switching careers to coaching and leading people to approach their relationship with fear.

Post ceremony, Brian felt more centered, and felt like there was an inner shift in him. Even though the ceremony brought things from his deployment to Iraq, in the end, he felt calm and energized.

“I can be more comfortable being uncomfortable.” — Brian Muka

Connect with Rick on social: Facebook

Resources: Fear Sherpa

Ashley Bledsoe is not only Mike’s wife, but also has a master’s degree in Sports and Recreation Management, and has been supporting, coaching and facilitating groups in the fitness industry for the past 10 years.

However, over the past three years, she’s been delving into deeper healing work. She’s passionate about coaching female entrepreneurs to forge deeper connections to themselves, each other and creating unique and practical ways to bring that to their businesses.

In the past year, Ashley has done a lot of work to get back to her inner self. She wanted to get rid of what no longer serves her, and felt like she was always tired. Post ceremony she felt more relaxed than she’s ever been, and her body felt really good.

Today, Ashley is working on the Great Bold Woman Project, which is for women that are in relationships with entrepreneurs. The project is about learning how to stay in power and be in love and support of their partners.

“It wasn’t overwhelming, unless I thought it was overwhelming… Trust yourself and trust the medicine.” — Ashley Bledsoe

Connect with Ashley on social: Instagram, Facebook

Mark England has professionally coached thousands of clients worldwide using the power of words and stories for over a decade. He holds an BA in business and a Master’s in Education. Mark is the co-founder of Procabulary and is a lifelong personal development enthusiast.

Mark met Simon Scott in 2014 at a leadership emergent after the Envision festival at Costa Rica. Mark saw a picture of people doing it before and heard about a first-hand experience from a friend. When he did it for the first time, he was too tensed to get all the benefits. Today, he is trying to form a better relationship with kambo as it takes a while to relax into a kambo session, similar to the process of relaxing to an ice bath session.

Mark felt content, but there’s always more. Post ceremony, he gets more insight into what he’s doing in his life and that’s enough for him. His favorite quote from the retreat describing kambo was said by Mike:

“Let old things die.” — Mike Bledsoe

Connect on social: Instagram, Facebook

Resources: Procabulary, Mark’s TED Talk: Identity vs. Process: Reinterpreting Failure, Procabulary Instagram, Procabulary Facebook

Avery Wood has been on a path to heal from a chronic intestinal disease for the last 3 years, where she has been exploring every modality of healing she came across. Avery has a strong curiosity to understand everything that goes through the healing process, and realized with the help of medicine that her condition has to do with her emotional and physical states.

“It has been like a rest button, reminded me to slow down, and take care of myself on a day-to-day basis.” — Avery Wood

Mike felt like kambo was working from its way his taint to the top of his head. He felt heat coming up through his neck to his head, then down his arms, into his hands, and down to his belly. During the entire process he really focused on breath and softening his belly, as he felt sharp pain deep in his gut.

Mike felt like nothing is really a big deal after kambo. He noticed the amount of energy he has after a session is intense, but not like a cup of energy, else feeling bigger, like his capacity for life is enlarged. He felt like the experience from the medicine has transformed him in a permanent way, and he loved it.

“Pain x resistance = suffering. If you can bring down resistance to 0, then pain is just pain, and suffering does not exist.” — Mike Bledsoe

NEW SEMINAR!

The Strong Coach

The post The Bledsoe Show w/ Simon Scott: Burnt & Poisoned #77 appeared first on Shrugged Collective.